MARRIAGE & FAMILY
What is Marriage?
Marriage is an intimate union between a godly man and godly woman (spouses) who are culturally and legally approved. The main purpose of marriage is companionship and procreation where children are born and generations are established one after the other. Marriage is the oldest institution on earth which was conducted and witnessed by God in the garden of Eden where He joined Adam and Eve in the Holy Matrimony; therefore marriage is a gift from God, “Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing and obtains favor of the LORD” (Proverbs. 18:22), and it is a lifetime commitment where by only death can dissolve it. (1Corinthians 7:39)
Marriage brings two people male and female into a covenant becoming husband and wife which binds them as long as they live. Marriage is established on and in love, it can only be between Male and female or man and woman. These two become one flesh when a man leaves his father and mother to cleave unto his wife (Genesis 2:24). This happens when the couples have agreed to live together in marriage to form a family after taking vows first between themselves before God (Mathew 18:19) and then before their parents, family and friends (2 Corinthians 13:1).
A man is the head of a woman in marriage and a woman is the helper for a man (Ephesians 5:23). Each of these have different roles to play in a family, the heart of God is Love (1 John 4:16) and therefore marriage has to do with the expression of love between the husband and wife, their children and all together towards their creator.
Marriage depicts our submission to our God, I believe for everything that God did create, in it He was teaching us how we are to relate with Him. Wives are subordinate to their husbands and they are to submit to them in all things pertaining marriage, for thus says the word of God (Ephesians 5:22), also husbands are called on to love their wives as their own bodies (Ephesians 5:28) and as well to handle them as weaker vessels and honoring them (1Peter 3:7). “The wife hath Not Power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife” (1Corinthians 7:4). Marriage brings out the best of each person if they only accept to live according to the ordination of the author of marriage. Marriage points us to our God, for if we are able to obey our earthly husbands and honoring our earthly wives, then we ought to totally submit and completely honor and reverence our creator.
Marriage is Not a Partnership, there are no equal rights between the husband and wife except for conjugal affections as cited above (1Corinthians 7:4). The author of Marriage, Elohim specifically reveal each individual’s role in a family, therefore a master cannot be subordinate to his servants, he can only treat them with honor and respect, knowing that he as well has a master above who is not a respecter of persons (Ephesians 6:5 & Ephesians 6:9). Therefore a man is the head and master of the house in a marriage set up, the woman is a wife and at all times, and she ought to submit to her husband, giving him the due respect for who he is not as man but as God ordained him to be. For without obedience and submissiveness, there is no marriage. We learn a great lesson from our fore fathers and their marriages, “Even as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord: Whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement”
Marriage is built on three (3) core foundations;
1. FEAR OF GOD;
The Fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom; and the knowledge of the holy is understanding (Proverbs9:10)
Ephesians5:21: Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.
The fear of the Lord is the foundation of respect, love and obedience/submission in our marriages; it restrains us from defiling the marriage bed (Hebrews 13:4) and helps couples to overcome all abominations such as fornication, adultery, breaking of marriage covenants (Divorce) and other wicked behaviors. This fear sanctifies our marriages and the blessing of the Lord follows such marriages and they are blessed and favored above others.
1: Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not LOVE, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.
2: And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not LOVE, I am nothing.
3: And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not LOVE, it profiteth me nothing.
4: LOVE suffereth long, and is kind; LOVE envieth not; LOVE vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
5: Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;
6: Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;
7: Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, and endureth all things.
Without embracing this kind of love towards each other, marriages cannot stand, because it’s on record that many young couples get into marriage with sexual and intimate excitement, having a short sight of what they are getting into, as time goes by, when they have had enough sex and countless intimate moments, the fire burns out and they wonder on what to do. Issues start to arise and disagreements ensue, as blame games start, for reasons that there is nothing new to explore. At this point, without this kind of love as highlighted above from the scriptures; marriages stand at the brink of breaking up. Couples should always be on their knees to pray for such love to be in their midst, this is the Love God has towards mankind through Christ and without it, God would have destroyed this world and began all over again as it was with the floods of Noah. To this day the world still stands despite the wickedness and all immorality raging, but because of this love, God still loves us and calls us back to himself, he forgives all sins that in our human minds we can never forgive, but if this kind of love is born in us through Christ Jesus, then we are able to sustain marriages and live up to our vows, with this I believe there would never have been any divorce especially among Christian Couple. We keep praying for God’s grace to enable us Love each other just as he has loved us.
22: Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
23: For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
24: Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
25: Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
28: So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
29: For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:
Respect is paramount for any marriage to stand, this calls on couples to forget about their professions, family backgrounds, their experience in different fields of life and know that this is marriage. There is no competition in marriage but rather agreeing to live together in harmony and in love. Each party in marriage has a responsibility to fulfill, endeavoring to do so will save a lot of augments in marriages. It’s also necessary to understand that it does not matter whether you are born in a modern generation or not, God’s principals have always remained the same, ''He is the same yesterday, today and forever” (Hebrews 13:8). In such a modern generation where women are defined as men with all feminist terms, it’s such a hard task to sustain a marriage or to have one, but women with a virtuous Character still exist (Proverbs 31:10), if you are not, aspire to be one, it’s as simple as accepting to be obedient and you will save your marriage.
Children in marriage
Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward
Children are the first fruits in marriages and they are a blessing from the Lord. They strengthen the bond between the couples where a real family gets established. Children are a gift from God and every married couple always anticipates a time when a child should be born to them, with all this joy of waiting and lots of hope in the born baby, responsibility rests upon the parents to make this child a gift or a curse unto the world. Therefore the morals of both parents determine the character of a child born, if children are born in a marriage set up where God is not given the first priority in all things, the child will never have this virtue in him, or if parents quarrel all the time, they don’t respect each other, they don’t love each other, all these traits will be found in the child and he/she will carry it on and pass on this evil character unto their generation. Marriages are instituted to bring up a godly seed that pleases the Lord; therefore both married partners should be God fearing.
The responsibility to nurture children lay between both parents, however, since mothers spend more time with the child while breastfeeding and embracing them, mothers should do their best to raise up children which shall make them proud, or else a proverb coming true on them, “A wise Son maketh a glad father: but a foolish son is the heaviness of his Mother” (Proverbs 10:1)
There is a saying that “Charity begins at home”, indeed it does and always the morals of a child depicts the nature of the home and parents they have, children are always photocopies of the homes and parents they have, therefore marriages should be a perfect mirror so that when it reflects in your child, everyone seeing it will smile and be glad and give glory to the LORD.
Eli the Priest of Shiloh was judged by God because of the wicked morals of his children, who misused their office of priesthood for their immoral personal gains. The Bible refers to them as sons of “Belial” which means the sons of the Devil. The same God who had sworn to let the house of their father Eli to serve him as priest was displeased and renounced them, and again announced Judgement upon this same house which shortly came to pass (1Samuel 2:13-36). Children should be brought up in the fear of the Lord and above all, endeavor to pray for them daily.
In conclusion, Marriage is a ministry wherein we serve God, it’s not just a pleasure of enjoying intimate moments, but it’s such a responsibility that both the husband and wife bear, being accountable to the Almighty God, the creator and author of marriages. Therefore to everyone preparing or hoping to be married anytime in your life time, you should put into consideration all the principles discussed above, for without them, you will be in a wrong place which could destroy your entire life and perharps a full generation after you. Marriage is Love, its joy, its peace, its communion with each other and all together with God; the bible calls all the creation on earth the family named through Christ Jesus (Ephesians 3:14-15). Therefore let’s embrace the principles of the author of marriage without breaching any as clearly written in the word of GOD, then shall your marriage be blessed as Abraham and Sarah, the Father and Mother of Nations (Genesis 17:4-5 & Genesis 17:15-16).
Choosing The Bride
18: And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.
19: And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature that was the name thereof.
20: And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him.
21: And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof;
22: And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.
23: And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.
In the beginning of God’s creations, It was absolutely God’s concern for Adam to find a spouse meet for him for the purpose of companionship and procreation, whereof God blessed them saying; be fruitful, multiply and replenish the earth and subdue it (Genesis1:28).
Before Adam had made a perfect prayer to God for a companion, God said that it is not good for man to stay alone in the garden but He would make an help meet for him, then God made all the fowls, and the beasts to appear before Adam that he may name them and choose a suitable companion from them, therefore there came the serpent, Godzilla, chimpanzee, gorilla, monkey, dragon, cow, donkey, cat, both insects and birds and animals of every kind, each of these creatures were in pairs of male and female so that Adam could not find a companion from them yet neither was any in his likeness. For that cause God gave Adam a deep sleep and took one of his ribs and covered it with flesh and formed a woman out of Adam’s bones. When Adam rose from his sleep, with great amazement he said, this is now born of my bones and flesh of my flesh. Finally Adam found a suitable companion of his very likeness from the Lord.
It should be noted that before any man ever thinks about finding a companion, he must first understand himself, know the purpose of his calling, lay down the vision of his life, and lay the foundation of it, then he can choose a bride meet for him who will help him to establish and sustain his life vision. A bride should be the bone of your own bones, therefore; a human shall marry a human, a cow shall get a cow and a donkey shall find a fellow donkey and on a strong note a Christian should marry a fellow Christian. God put before Adam all the animals that he might choose a help but found none because he was a true human not a beast, you must chose a bride of your own character, ‘’birds of the same feathers flock together’’. Trust me, you will always find her of who you are, ‘’show me your company and I tell you who you are’’.
If you want to marry a virtuous woman, be a valiant man, if you want a real faithful Christian woman, first become one and flee from fornication and adultery and from all sexual perversion, remember that ‘’people are mirrors they reflect one another’’, your spouse shall always be what you are and what you make her to be reflecting your own character and integrity. ‘’You shall reap what you sow’’, don’t expect to have a faithful bride when you are unfaithful, neither will you find a respectful and godly bride when you are sexually immoral and a winebibber.
Finding a marriage companion is one of the most crucial decisions that a man takes in his life. It is a defining moment which has a lasting impact upon someone’s life and therefore such a decision should be taken with absolute cautiousness, keenness and without rush. It should not be taken out of excitement, pressure, or basing on temporary feelings but rather considering traits which will allow you to stay with that person all your life until death do you part for the Lord hates Putting away, (Malachi 2:16).
Anyone choosing a marriage partner should focus on aspects that are beyond beauty and the general outside appearance, for these are deceitful (Proverbs 31:30), character and behavior should be the Pivot points while taking such a decision, good morals and Christian character should be the priority.. A perfect maiden to be considered for marriage is a virtuous woman according to Proverbs31:10-31. As a Christian, it’s important while seeking a marriage partner to look for one from within the Christian fraternity; this saves one from strange worldly women. A God fearing woman should be the first and only priority to be considered. (Proverbs 12:4).
It is crucial for one to seek God’s direction while choosing a marriage partner. Isaac’s story portrays the perfect example of leaning on God to choose a marriage partner, we realize that the servant Abraham sent out to find a wife for Isaac asked for God’s direction and signs to prove the perfect woman he had to take for his Master’s son (Genesis 24:1-67) and they all came to pass. God is able to guide us if we trust him and believe him to help us find a good spouse, for “he is the same today, yesterday and forever” (Hebrews 13:8). It is God who found Eve for Adam, a help meet for him, (Genesis 2:18). We should therefore rely on the Lord, for since his plans towards us are good, (Jeremiah. 29:11), He cannot lead us to make wrong choices of spouses.
The word of God says, “Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and Obtains favor of the LORD” (Proverbs 18:22), and again the word says, in (Hebrews 13:4); “Marriage is honourable in all, and a bed Undefiled; but whoremongers and adulterers God will Judge”. It should be noted that this favor Comes with finding a right person, and for God to honor one’s marriage, it should be one which is holy before him.
Having known what to look out for, as individuals we ought to bear the true love of Christ within us while we choose our spouses. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 is a measuring yard for this kind of love, for it says; Love is patient and Kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful: 6; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. 7; Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
I encourage everyone to ask God to give them such a heart to love their chosen brides, for in so doing, all sorts of Marriage failures will have been dealt with. Let’s love our spouses even as God loved us when we were still sinners and sent us a savior in Christ Jesus. Remember to take into account all God’s instruction while making your choice and surely your marriage will be a success and you will receive all the blessings from the author of marriages who is God.
A vow is a verbal commitment or consent between two persons or more. “In the Mouth of two or three witnesses shall every word be established” (2Corinthians 13:1), a vow is a consent over anything which binds parties taking it and it becomes a covenant the moment it’s uttered and agreed upon. (Matthew 18:18)
When it comes to marriage, a vow is a binding oath/covenant between two individuals male and female who agree to live together as husband and wife in love towards each other and this vow is the beginning of a Marriage. After the parents of the spouses have approved their children to marry one another, then the next step is a marriage vow to be recited or written in the presence of witnesses. The parents’ consent to the decision of these two individuals to live together in marriage solely announces them husband and wife, bound by a covenant first pronounced between themselves where God is the first witness (Malachi 2:14) and then before their parents, and the community round about. This legal marriage cannot be revoked. “Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh, what therefore GOD has joined, let not man put asunder”. (Matthew 19:6).
One May ask that, in which place should marriage vows be taken? And my response will be that vows are taken in any place where these two people meet (Male and Female) and they agree to live together in love as married couples with an agenda of establishing a family after the approval of the parents; for God is everywhere yet he is the first witness. We also need to remember that it’s only God that institutes marriages, He is the one that joins the Bride and the Groom, the bible doesn’t say pastor, prophet, evangelist, apostle neither any religious dignitary, But God himself. If you know any prophet or apostle in the Holy Bible that has ever instituted marriage or joined any spouses in marriage vows, please write to us back at firstname.lastname@example.org
Its only death which can separate these two individuals; “The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, then she is at liberty to be married to whom she will, only in the LORD” (1 Corinthians 7:39).
Marriage vows are NOT necessarily taken on the Alter in church during wedding ceremonies as the assumption is, but rather they are taken in the initial stages when the two persons fall in love with each other and determine to live together in marriage. Their decision is then presented before their parents for approval and once approved; Parents are the first witnesses to this covenant, which grants these two the freedom to live together as husband and wife. The church marriage is done only to officiate and celebrate the marriage of the already married Brides which was blessed and approved by their parents and relatives. It’s so late to say that they are taking vows then. Therefore Church vows are nothing else but ceremonial testimonies since the brides have already met and agreed to live together, I would say that the church is only sealing these two with a blessing and presenting them before many witnesses (Church Members) for purposes of accountability to the entire body of Christ and to ensure that they walk upright in their marriage.
The heart of marriage is love, and that is the heart of GOD Almighty (1 John 4:16). Therefore individuals taking vows must be in love, committed to live together in love all the days of their lives and in it depicting the love of God towards us his creation. The Catholic Church which is the mother of all churches, a harlot church has ushered in such great deception with man-made doctrines which have complicated marriage and in the end harbored a lot of wicked behaviors such as adultery, fornication and breaking of marriage covenants. Their definition of marriage is contradicting to the scriptures and they prolonged every step with hope of earning money from the Brides, corrupting this holy act of marriage. By doing so, they have put such a great yoke in the necks of young men and women seeking marriage which themselves cannot handle. The Church has as well set quite a number of traps to solicit money from Brides to be which has scared many away from officiating their marriages and hence promoting fornication and adultery. Marriage has lately been defined as wedding which is false. Wedding is just rather a celebration of marriage or a party to that sort.
We believe in the word of God as it is and we are obedient to observe everything it says for it is infallible. The complications that the church introduced in the marriage office has brought up a belief that, a man can sleep with a woman, have children and yet believe that they are not married and they have never been married since they didn’t go to church to take wedding vows, and when they separate, the church doesn’t call that divorce; that’s absolutely wrong and we are here to correct and dismantle such unbiblical fabricated errors. The moment a woman and man agree to live together as husband and wife, have sexual intercourse, have children; the Lord God holds them as married couples, whether they wedded at church or not, whether they have a government marriage certificate or not; they should never divorce for any reasons except adultery.
“And this have ye done again, covering the altar of the LORD with tears, with weeping, and with crying out, insomuch that he regardeth not the offering anymore, or receiveth it with good will at your hand”
“Yet ye say, wherefore? Because the LORD hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion and the wife of thy covenant”
In these scriptures, the LORD is rebuking us for breaking covenants with wives of our youth (girlfriend) who have been disregarded, many children are regarded as out of wedlock as men suppose that marriage is initiated in Church and so are vows. We are bound by vows which bring us intact with a man/woman that we have agreed to love or laid with and begotten children and this becomes a covenant wherein God is the witness. The purpose of church wedding is only to recognize and proclaim a blessing upon two people who have vowed to live together as husband and wife in a marriage and to hold them responsible. God joins these two the moment they agree to be with each other and witnessed by the consent from both parents, and then church proclaims a blessing upon them and publishes it among brethrens for recognition to avoid adultery and fornication.
Therefore vows/oaths taken on the wedding day are just for ceremonial purposes, because at this point, these two have already been joined by God in the day they made the marriage vows where God was the witness after the approval of the parents. We need to understand that a wedding is just a marriage celebration; it does not determine the permanency of spouses, only vows under a covenant can for that is what God considers.
Is traditional wedding necessary or Luxury?
Initially, marriages were celebrated traditionally and the entire function was held within the house hold confinement. the most crucial people were invited from the bride’s side and the groom’s side; The whole thing was all about the joy of giving out a daughter in marriage and the son marrying a wife, it was not stressful at all neither focused on merchandise and property, Wedding parties were not intended to impress the community of how great the families marrying were but it was for celebration and happiness. Everyone celebrated marriage keeping within their financial limits. The only standard point that determined a successful and glorious marriage was marrying a Bride who was a ‘’VIRGIN’’. Virginity was the sacredness of marriage, if the bride was found without Her Virginity on the Wedding Bed, then she was brought before the elders who commanded her being stoned to death because she played an harlot.
On the Contrary, Marriage Sacredness has been abandoned, modern marriage celebrations have focused so much on luxury in terms of gifts given as bride price, dress codes, decoration and a lot of promiscuous behaviors which have devalued and reduced the meaning of wedding and has registered many failed marriages. Parents due to worldly pressures have as well raised their demands to match up with the standards and this has given an impression of them intending to trade their daughters as properties, this has literally affected the value of marriage.
We believe in Traditional marriages which are biblical taking our fore fathers as example to this effect. Sighting an example of the marriage of Isaac and Rebecca, we realize how beautiful God ordained it to happen (Genesis 24:1-69). The gifts/dowry paid by Abraham’s servant intended to extend a token of appreciation to the parents of Rebecca and the conditions thereof from Rebecca’s parents were not demanding at all but only necessary to send her off in the right way. Morals were maintained and this showed the real picture of marriage being a gift from God. The priority marriage bride meet for a servant of God should be a ‘’VIRGIN’’.
We believe that marriage is not a point of barter trade or exchange from both sides; rather it’s a moment where two families meet and agree to live together in harmony. We believe it’s important to give gifts as a token of appreciation to the wife’s parents and we discourage any party taking advantage of the other in this case by setting demanding conditions or charging/setting strict conditions which act as barriers to block our children from getting married to the person they love. Christians should be examples to change the community mindset about marriage, let us not be conformed to the standards of the world but rather be transformed by the renewing of our minds.
It’s useless to spend millions of money on a one day wedding party not considering the situations the young brides are going to live in after, why to fall in debts because of wedding parties? Why to stress up because of taking a bride? marriage is a moment of enjoyment, happiness and love and exchange of gifts, it’s never a trading time. Many young men have resorted to secret sexual perversions like Fornication, Masturbation, dildo’s, pornography etc; only because they cannot afford to arrange the trending competitive expensive weddings where the rich spend lots of money and still splash money at the wedding reception. In connation, the In-laws tells the intending Bridegroom, ‘’if you cannot afford to bring me 20cows and build me a house, you will not take my daughter for marriage!!!’’. Wedding parties are very good only when you can afford them, but if one cannot afford them, let him marry in simplicity depending on his abilities. The Church of the Living God should support the Intending Brides all the time and make sure that all things are done in simplicity to honour God.
If we are to curb the act of fornication and sexual immorality, we have got to endorse more marriages and encourage faithfulness and trust between the couples.
This refers to the legal/official separation or dissolution of a marriage by a court or any other competent body. It’s a process which terminates a marriage covenant between two married couples as a result of disagreements or any other situation deeming it important for couples to live apart. Divorce occurs when; all parties agree to separate for the good of their children, families and their own lives. It’s such a painful process which directly affects the children if any, families and the couples themselves.
According to the Old Testament, The power to propose divorce was laid in the hands of the man; “When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her; then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house: 2; And when she is departed out of his house, she may go and be another man’s wife” (Deuteronomy 24:1-2). A bill/certificate of divorce was the evidence for the termination of a marriage covenant, and granted each of the partners to continue their lives with any other person of their choice. Without this certificate, none of the divorced couple could engage in any other marriage.
On the contrary, according to the new testament teachings, The Lord Jesus Christ resolved the issue of Divorce and said; Matthew5:31-32; ‘’It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement: But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery’’ (Matthew19:8-9). Therefore divorce has no place in the life of Christians except for the sake of marital unfaithfulness and spiritual fornication and a divorced man or woman should not marry again as so long as his divorced partner is still alive.
According to the gospel of Matthew 19:3-9, the Pharisees tempted Jesus with the question about divorce, saying; “Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for any cause?”, his response was loud and clear; “Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female; 5; And said, for this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave unto his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?; 6; wherefore they are no more twain but one flesh. What therefore GOD has joined let not Man put asunder”
The Lord Jesus Christ being the word made flesh; he could not go against himself. Scriptures teach us that, “Jesus Christ is the same today, yesterday and forever” (Hebrews 13:8), His ordinations have never changed since the first day He created them, it’s the reason why the sun which rules the day gives us heat and light daily without failing and as well the moon and stars at night, giving us light, these two great lights have determined seasons, days and years since the day God commanded them to do so (Genesis 1:14). The constellations have obeyed their creator and they have never desired to exchange or abandon their roles. Its only man who has always sought to defy the laws of the Almighty God and as a result, he has defiled himself and brought condemnation upon himself.
Marriage, unlike any other aspect of life is a lifetime commitment; the word of God clearly states that only death can separate the two people living together in marriage. “The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the LORD” (1 Corinthians 7:39). Our God is love (1 John 4:16) and therefore He instituted marriage out of love, remember He created us in his own image and after His own likeness (Genesis 1:26-27), therefore him being love, we should as well love each other in such a way that He loved us and loves us daily. When God established marriage, He built it on love as its core foundation. The bible says that, “I know that, whatsoever God doeth, it shall be for ever: nothing can be put to it, nor anything taken from it: and God doeth it, that men should fear before him” (Ecclesiastes 3:14), therefore in the heart of God, there was never a word divorce or separation of loved ones.
Our Lord Jesus Christ said that; “Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so” (Matthew 19:8). This simply teaches us that, no matter the introduction of the certificate/bill of divorce by the religious men and government institutions, it’s still illegal and sinful before the Lord for us to put away your wife/Husband. Malachi2:16; For the Lord God of Israel saith that he hateth putting away; for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts; therefore take heed to your spirit. That ye deal not treacherously”.
The word of God therefore clearly teaches us that GOD is against this act of divorce, it was not his making and it has no space in his heart. Can you pause for a moment and ponder about these scriptures? Can you hear the heart of God bleeding for what humanity is taking so light and defending sin all day long? No matter how the courts on this universe might seek to defend this wicked act, the creator and author of marriage is against it; “Who is he that saith, and it cometh to pass, when the LORD commandeth it not?” There is none definitely. Therefore lets return to the Lord and walk in his perfect paths, nothing will surely come between us to break up our marriages, for thus says the Lord; “What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder” (Mark 10:9). Therefore No authority on earth, above and beneath that has the power to put asunder what God hath joined.
What leads people to break the commandments of God is nothing but; disagreements, comparison of spouses and marriages (Covetousness), peer pressure, high demands, poverty, disobedience and lack of respect between couples, family background and pressure, permanent illness, fighting, quarreling, fornication, adultery, cultural differences and failure to adjust, religious differences and any other issues which can easily be solved. I strongly believe that we would not have any single divorce case among Christians if we are able to take into account the whole Word of God.
Choosing a marriage partner is the first step which should be done with a lot of cautiousness and prayer, getting rid of peer pressure and building your marriage on the three core values which is; the fear of God, Love and respect for each other. These I believe are barriers to block wicked spirit of divorce from accessing your marriage. It’s sad that we have lived as the world, the trends of the world have encroached the grounds of Christian marriages and the enemy is scattering without sparing, however, it’s not so late, you can save your marriage right now and restrain yourself from breaking the commandments of God. The pain that one goes through while terminating their marriage, the shame that the families suffer, the trauma that children go through and the tainted image in the community; all can be dealt with in one statement, LOVE.
The word of God says that; “There is No fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear; because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love” (1John 4:18). We should love our spouses without holding back with fear that we might be disregarded in the future. I have heard many parents giving their daughters such wicked talks towards their marriages, asking them not to love so much, that men could start disrespecting them, I assure you that those advices proceed from the devil who is the enemy of marriages, we should love without holding back, we forgive and forget, we respect because we have to, we endure and persevere with hope, and we pray for our marriages daily that God might strengthen us to live up to our vows.
Marriage is a ministry, and just as any ministry has challenges, so does marriage. We get married not to our brothers or sister we have grown up with but to someone that love brings along. If you surely have fights with your very brothers and sisters whom you have grown up with, how about someone you have met along after many years of your independent life. We get married to people full of mistakes, weaknesses and shortcomings but “Love covereth all sins” and bonds us. (Proverbs 10:12 & 1Peter 4:8)
I want to draw your attention to this kind of love found in the word of God, which I believe should be a yardstick to all who have divorced or planning to divorce, if you have really loved your wife or husband through each of these lines, and still went on to divorce, then God should have mercy on you, but I believe that, if we only could make this scripture our marriage mirror as we pray for it to manifest in us, surely we would Not see vows taken before our beloved families and before God, dissolved before wicked men in authorities. (1Corinthians13:1-7)
Beloved, lets embrace this love in our hearts and let it be expressed between us in our marriages, and then shall we live up to our vows and receive the blessing of God. How beautiful were the marriages of our fathers; Abraham lived with Sara until death did them part, so was Isaac and Rebekah, Jacob and Rachel plus Leah and the concubines, and many precious marriages, to mention but a few. Let’s learn from them, where they made mistakes that we don’t repeat them and where they performed well, let’s embrace that, as we pray and as well forgive each other as much as God forgives us.
I pray for a divorce free generation rising in Jesus Name, Amen.